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Je Retiens
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LiveJournal for *~ 80% Straight ~*.
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| Sunday, December 24th, 2006 |
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~....The Christmas Shoes is my very favorite Christmas Film. I watch it every Christmas, ever since I heard the song by the same title, sung by Newsong, on the radio. What can I say? I challenge you to listen to the song - which is the song playing in the background of my blog - and not feel a lump in your throat, feel tears well up in your eyes, or just all-out start bawling! *teehee*.....It's a beautiful song, and the film is just as beautiful. Kimberly Williams (who also starred in "Father of the Bride" 1 and 2, as *Annie*), plays the part of little Nathan's angelic, and sadly dying, mother....Kimberly's portrayal just breaks my heart, as I'm sure she does everyone who watches this film... Rob Lowe's role is that of a workaholic, undependable-albeit-well-intentioned husband and father, who is losing his wife with every selfish action......Until....as fate would have it....he meets young Nathan who is desperately trying to buy his last gift for his dying mother....A pair of red, shiny shoes, that he had found and had become so important to him, that he give them to her, as he recalled she had once shed a few tears while Nathan had been reading a story about a little girl who had little red dancing shoes in which she would fall asleep and dreeam that she danced in everynight.....
Nathan wanted to make sure that his mother would have the pair of fancy red shoes, so that she would be happy and look beautiful when she met Jesus in heaven.... Back to Rob Lowe's character....He saw Nathan rushing to pay for the pair of red shoes, and saw how distraught the little boy was when the store clerk told him he did not have enough money to buy the shoes.
Rob Lowe asks Nathan what was wrong, and as he begins to understand the reason behind Nathan's distress, he offers to pay the difference so that Nathan would be able to buy the shoes.... That act of kindness and the story of Nathan and his mother, changes Robert (Rob Lowe's character). He rushes to meet his estranged wife and daughter, who are caroling softly in front of Nathan's mother's home.....Inside, Nathan is giving his mother the pair of red shoes "to wear in heaven"....She is so touched by her son's gift...and they have a poignant *good-bye*...
Outside....Robert and his family sadly see the lights go out in Nathan's home....But he expresses how much he loves both his wife and his daughter, and there is new light for them....
I know it may sound sappy to some....my former friend would never even watch it in all the years I've known her (I guess I shouldn't be surprised as it's not a cheesy reality show such as the Bachelor)....(oopsy - did that sound catty? teehee- I really did not mean it too....I guess it should have told me something when one's so called *best friend* won't even take 95 minutes to watch her supposed best friends all-time favorite Christmas film....I mean, after all, at her request I watched all of her favorite Christmas films -which have more to do with people *receiving* than *Giving*....just between you and I, one of them was soo whiny and had absolutely nothing to do with the Christmas spirit that it took me nearly 4 viewings, for me to see it in entirety because I kept falling asleep - and I am an insmoniac! haha...that's saying something, huh?)
Back to "The Christmas Shoes"....I highly recommend this film if you enjoy good films with a Christmas theme....In fact, this is the first year, it has been released on DVD in the United States.... It's a wonderful DVD and includes extras, such as the music video to the song "Christmas Shoes" and interviews with the cast and the singer of the song..... The following is some background on just how this amazing story started from an email on the internet, to a chart topping song, to a beloved Chrismas film and book.....Read on if you fancy....
In 1999, The Christmas Shoes story began circulating on the internet. The touching story about a little boy whose mother was dying at Christmas, and his quest to find the perfect pair of shoes for her to wear in heaven, came to the attention of Eddie Carswell of NewSong. Eddie began writing a song inspired by the story. NewSong, a Christian musical group, sent its record "The Christmas Shoes" to a top DJ in St. Louis in November 2000. When he played it, the station literally shut down: the switchboard was inundated with calls and the computers crashed from the barrage of emails. With virtually no promotion, the record had 3500 spins around the country in just one week, and shot to #1 on the Billboard Adult Contemporary Charts in a record-setting three weeks.
This is a link to Amazon, which is one of the places, "The Christmas Shoes" can be purchased at.... Amazon's Listing for "The Christmas Shoes" DVD
I would also like to say *Thank You* to the kind souls who have sent me very thoughtful messages, lovely cards & generous gifts... I truly appreciate and am touched by each and every one of them....Bless your hearts.... |
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happy.
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Wishing all creatures great and small, a peaceful, joyous, serene, cozy, and memorable Christmas Eve & Christmas Day....
Happy Hanukkah too....
*~ A Special *Merry Christmas* To Our Troops ~* ....God Speed....
For those who have so kindly asked about Aurey and have sent good wishes to her, I thank you from the bottom of my heart....That saying that you never think something will happen to you until it does, is painfully true....But also true, is that saying "What does not kill us, makes us stronger"....You really see things so clearly at such times....How precious and fragile life is....Whom is truly the type of friend who will be there for you when you need them the most....and I've learned how to accept help graciously (this is something that has been so hard for me to do in the past....I've always been brought up to not to depend on others for help....to be independent.....But now I know there are times you simply must accept help for the lifesaver it is......And oh am I ever so grateful to those rare special people who have such big open hearts....Thank you....and Merry Chritstmas Dear Hearts.....I will be thinking of you tonight...and always....with love......
Remember to listen for the taps of Reindeer on the roof tonight... :)
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grateful.
| Thursday, December 14th, 2006 |
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I have spent nearly 4 hours on the phone and online with Dell, trying to purchase my badly needed notebook.....Oh Goddess, I never thought I'd ever say this but I loathe shopping (for computers).... I began thinking, the one on the Dell commercial (the Inspiron E1505 sounded/looked pretty much like what I needed, and by the time the 3 salespeople and much confusion (due to my admitted lack of knowledge of how much RAM and what type of graphics card, blah blah blah ) I needed, the price shown in the tv ad, had more than doubled - It may have been worth all of this trouble if they made it in baby pink (with tasteful sparkles!!) but alas, I wait with baited breath to see what I will receive if all goes well.... shipping is supposed too be Free - but lucky me, being that I'm in Hawaii, they charged me another $93.00 ~ huh??? What gives??? I just hope it's nice to me, and we get on famously, or Dell will have one very unhappy camper in Hawaii... (I thought of purchasing one for Aurey......but then thought otherwise.....There are far too many ne'er-do-wells lurking behind these computers and she's far too vulnerable right now.....) Now for a delicious shower with my bath and body works hot chocolate bath/shower gel......a relaxing shampoo, and then snuggle time with "The Girls Next Door" DVD.... :) I just adore Bridget~~ *teehee* She and I could be best friends - we're so alike (except, I' m not blonde, buxom, and spoiled by a sexy 80 year young guy! *s*---ah well....can't have it all)
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sleepy.
| Monday, December 11th, 2006 |
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Number Three.....(Albeit I realize that I have deeply digressed in my last couple of posts)....Of Holiday Joys....And How to enjoy them, share them, give cherish them.....
~....You can find out if your local hospitals, esp, the childrens wards will accept donated toys and gifts.... Sometimes visiting with a child patient that is all alone, and could use so friendship and cheering up, is possible, and goodness, you will feel as good as the patient, if you give a bit of time of yourself.... After having had surgery, my nurse encouraged me to try to walk down the hallway outside my room.... Well, I so appreciated the gentle care the nurses and residents gave me, I went all the way down to the lobby area of the hospital (not in that awful gown they give patients, but I always make sure I have my pretties....A long silk nightgown, with a matching peignor and robe), and bought a bunch of gift cards from the Starbucks that is located in the lobby of the hospital.....Needless to say, I was ready to pass out, and had someone wheel me back to my room, where I wrote little thank you notes, I had picked up at the gift shop, and ordered up some freshly baked brownies and croissants, with coffees (isn't it amazing you can even order take out in a hospital? *s*), then presented the gift cards and notes to the nurses who truly made my stay so much easier that I ever thought it would be... During the holidays, I still fetch them gift cards from the Starbucks downstairs, and place some purchased darling stuffed animals in gift bags so they can give them to the patients who may be needing that little extra bit of cheer....(It's the oncology unit, so teddy bears are always a gift they can find a mommy or daddy to hug and hold onto during their stay)
There are also programs that donate books and games to children's wards in hospitals.... Here is a link for one that does just that...and it's quite simple....All you need to do is look at the wish list on Amazon.com, and purchase it, and it will go to the hospital of your choice.
Here is the link..... http://www.childsplaycharity.org/ Or
Here is a copy of part of the page containg info. about this charity.
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worried.
| Saturday, December 9th, 2006 |
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......Aurey is in the hospital..... I know I have to be strong and there for her.... But, honestly....I don't know how much I can take.... Oh, and where are my so-called *true-friends* ? Answer is.....Nowhere (in my sphere)..... So much for your friendhsip....you know who you are.... Am I bitter right now....You bet! |
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drained.| Friday, December 8th, 2006 |
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~.... I am blessed in this one sense that I can reach out and call almost every single man whom I have ever had a significant relationship with -exceipt for one case and I would not call it significant because nearly every word spoken from his mouth was a lie, and I'd have to be crazy to even want to have contact with him again..... I say this, because I've noticed that this is quite rare in the cases of most of my female friends and acquaintances.....I don't know why it is so.... I suppose it is becuase I do care about the way I part with someone if that is what is happening....and I don't leave things on bad terms (unless the person is one who there is no reasoning with because they are too far gone).........It warms my heart to know that I can pick up my address/phone book and ring a former beau I was with over 11 years ago, and hear the happiness in his voice to hear mine....And of course, to catch up with each other, and reminisce about old times....How wonderful.... I recently decided to ring a man I greatly admired as a close friend and confidante....He was always so kind and supportive towards me....and I lost touch with him while he had temporarily moved to another country - his company needed him there.....And then he was supposed to go on to Dubai....I thought I would never see him again, as I knew I would never be travelling to that part of the world....But oh how I misssed our deep, amusing conversations....So I phoned his company's local office, and they told me he was no longer with them....but gave me the name and number to his new company....and what a magical Christmas presennt it was to hear his dear familiar slight New Zealand accent I've always been so fond of..... I wasn't sure how he would feel about me contacting him after all these years, but I've never had problems in the past ....From my experience, if you treat people good, they will remember you fondly, and will be always happy to hear from you.... sometimes they find you first.... And in this case, we joyfully got each others new numbers, addys, and email addresses....It really touched my heart that he still remembered my birthdate, and even had to giggle at his gleeful teasing about whether or not I was still following my one year in reverse each birthday rule....teehee....I told him....I'm undecided....Age is just a number, after all.... :) It reallly does pay to treat people with warmth, kindness, and tenderness.......... |
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| Thursday, December 7th, 2006 |
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* Number 2.... Donate, Write, Support Our Troops - My little way letting them know they are not forgotten, and are especially missed at this special time of the year. *
~....It's so important not to forget that there are so many families who are without their loved ones this season because they are courageously serving our country. I feel it's so important to not only remember but to actively give thanks, and to send cards, letters, packages of care and support. Goddess knows, they deserve it, and they need it! I am not able to do as much as I so want to do due to my health limitations, but I do what I can, whenever I can. I realize that this post is a bit too late if one wishes to send a care package, however, there are some wonderful organizations that will send one on your behalf, for a small donation (I consider it small, compared to all that these brave men and women are giving for our country). Here is a list of some organizations that can help you send some *Support and Cheer* during the holidays, and it need not end there..... *S* Also, giving a basket or gift of appreciation and comfort to a family who is spending the holidays without a loved one, is an *action* that will not only warm their heart....but, yours too....We should not take for granted that people *already* have enough support, love, and appreciation... The one thing you or I do, may be the only person to have remembered them (especially, if they are far from their family).....And it may make all the difference in the world.... http://americasupportsyou.com/americasup
http://www.soldiersangels.org/adopt_a_so https://wwwcfi.cnet.navy.mil/dearabby/Ab http://militarycarepackages.net/ http://www.guardianangelsforsoldierspet.o Blankets of Hope http://www.soldiersangels.org/blankets_o
http://operationac.com/wounded_soldiers.h It has come to my attention that our American Wounded Soldiers need a morale boost. I want to send thousands of cards to those soldiers. I have a way to get the cards right to the nurses. My daughter, Olivia, started this project when she was 11 years old. She has been doing this for 2 solid years. I would like to ask everyone to buy a patriotic or thank you card and write a message to our wounded American soldiers in the cards. I will send them to the Combat Support Hospitals so the soldiers will get cards from Americans who care. Frankie Mayo Mail the cards to: Operation AC We have sent THOUSANDS of letters to the Combat Hospitals in Iraq. They make their way many times in our soldier's and marine's hands on the flights that med-evac them. Here is a letter we got from the Chaplain at the US Army Hospital in Germany (click to read).
There are so many wonderful organizations out there....I know how often I hear, "oh how nice....They're doing a great thing..." from people who say this but never even take 5 minutes out of their precious "Bachelor" or "American Idol" tv time, to *DO* something for someone either thousands of miles away from home...away from the comforts of what we have as Americans, and more importantly, away from family and friends..Or, one who has been wounded, trying to adjust to the changes the future now holds...perhaps, feeling depressed and alone....perhaps giving his/her all to getting better.... The selfishness or thoughtlessness of such people, who only *talk* and do nothing, leave me at a loss for words....And respect is lost when I see that happen...Mind you, these are the very people, who just love to slap the yellow ribbon magnet on their car....I just want to ask them, what have you done to support our troops lately? We live in a great country.... It's not by coincidence that our Armed Forces are the GREATEST. Let's remember them....Appreciate them... Love and Support them.... During the Holidays...And all through the year....
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relaxed.
| Tuesday, December 5th, 2006 |
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*Things I Love To Do During The Holidays*I just thought I'd post one thing each day...
One....A Night (or two) of Wrapping Gifts For Special Persons Who Help Bring Home The Message of Christmas... 1. First I clear my bed of everything except a stack of pillows ( for support when a bit I need to lay back *s*), my comforter, to make me feel like I'm siting on a cloud of fluff, my favorite throw....because I have a tendency to freeze from the A/C.... I then run a hot bath, complete with Bubbles by Philosophy, lay back, and .............relax...................... Slip into a silky white feminine nightgown, complete with dainty sleeves that flutter like nobody's business, and a delicious white peignoir to make me feel divinely in the ....Christmas Spirit.... But not before completing my moisturizing and parfum regimen...spritzing my room for good cheer....(I love smelling good....I do not feel dressed unless I have one of my favorite parfums on) Heat water for my goodies...whilst surrounding my bed with wrapping paper, tissue paper, gift cards, gelly pens, scented markers, glitter glue, gorgeous stickers, ribbon, and other trinkets to decorate gifts.... Next, sustenance preparation, as I gather my favorite mini bar and *sweets* for the night... Goblet of ruby port wine (filled half way of course)....Bottled water...Goblet of Pepsi on the Rocks...heehee...a gorgeous glass mug of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows and whipped cream on top, melting, oh so slowly...Steeping pot of hot English tea (either English Breakfast, or Earl Grey)....and half a half, equal, honey, and mint leaves... Now for the *Sweets*....Chocolate covered cherry cordials, cookies, a scone cut into baby pieces, with Devonshire cream, and strawberry preserves, and perhaps a glass of tapioca or rice pudding....
I'm often told I pick and nibble like a bird...Truth is...I love to enjoy whatever I'm consuming....which means...I don't gulp, gobble, or wolf anything down.... I eat and drink slowly....I sip....I savor the tastes, fragrances, and aromas.....And I've long passed following the rule of "you must finish everything off your plate".... I eat as I wish...when I wish....or not at all... That's my rule for eating... :) I can't bear sharing the table with people who finish their meals within 10 minutes....It's no wonder so many have indigestion.... But I digressed... After candles are lit, and finding a suitable show, or perhaps popping in a favorite Christmas DVD, I begin the joyous task of preparing gifts to be given... Some, by rule, must remain unwrapped, but others, I go to town wrapping to my heart's content.... In past years, I did the stressful thing and shopped in the last 2 months of the year... This year...I began, before Christmas ended... I knew what I wanted to give as gifts, and looked for it online....And when I found it...I purchased it....What a fabulous way to find beautiful gifts without any stress whatsoever... For busy mothers in need, I decided that this year, I would give the most silky, soft, comfy robes, and nightgowns. It's just one of those things that many mothers who need to provide for their children, are not likely to buy for themselves....and yet, there's nothing like a welcoming robe to wrap one's self in at the end of a long, day...This year's theme is about *comfort for moms*... I collect tiaras....don't ask why...I just do.. I think they're beautiful, romantic, and part of my background is fashion design with emphasis in Historical design....I just love them, and I always have... So...little girls will be receiving tiaras...Not the $1.00 type you buy at the mall....no...but one that looks just like a mini beauty pageant queen....metal base, with crystals, or rhinestones, or faux peals... I have a wonderful supplier, and for just a little more, I can give a little girl a tiara ...One she can dream in....play in....Things that are so important....We have the media and magazines showing little girls their idea of what *Beauiful* is....Sometimes, little girls just need to know that their a princess...to someone.... I don't know of any recipient that has not been deligted knowing they are a princess to their family... Little boys are a bit harder, because I'm not up to date on the latest toys that are popular...However, I love to give quality books, that have uplifiting, inspirational, and beautifully illustrated stories...There are many wonderful children's books...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I have been depressed recently, which does not happen often for me....and I have never been so depressed for so long....I feel lost and alienated at times....Trying to find....anchors, if you will, to try to keep me planted firmly on the ground so as not to fly completely into a black hole... I have reached out to certain old friends...Never thinking they would respond (or not), the way they have. It had further pushed me deeper into a state of isolation.. I am grateful to a very kind soul I've met here years ago who has confirmed to me that when one door closes, others will open.... It reminds me that I should not lose hope... Thank you for that, Phil.... I wasn't even sure if I could find enough strength to have my lil wrapping soiree....but knowing that these gifts will be going to people who may otherwise feel they may have been forgotten and alone this Christmas, well, that makes all the difference.... At Christmas....or anytime of the year... |
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hopeful.
| Monday, October 2nd, 2006 |
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~...I'm just loving this little break from the News... Although I an still interested in some stories of interest, I'm trying to nurture this newfound fancy for *munchies*, by watching the Food Network... Yesterday's shows wre fabulous....I only wish they had a vegetarian show... Paula Deeen's sons have their own show called "Road Tasted" and it is just too cool! They go to different cities and sample some popular dishes...And.... The best part is that you can have these dishes sent to you if you fancy... Ooh, I saw this yummy looking dessert that I'm dying to try.... :) I also saw the first episode of "Nigella Feasts"....I LOVED it! She's so sexy - Beautifully striking....Not only because of her silky pale skin and Vibrant Dark hair, she has an enchanting voice.... It's rare that I find low voices sexy, but it certainly works with Nigella... She has a lovely British accent,...And she's wickedly funny :) At the end of her show, the camera shows her in what looks to be a nightgown or robe, digging into her refriderator for a bite of sour cream and the cornbread topped chili she had cooked during the show...She takes a bite....pauses...then reaches back into the refrigerator to grab the entire pot of chili...ahahaha....so funny! On Giada's show, "Everyday Italian", today, she was preparing for an drive in movie night....It was sooo cool~ She cooked her *dishes* and put a bunch of floor pillows, throws, and blankets outdoors on a grassy lawn. She had a film projector and a huge white screen set up, and that was her lil Drive in movie! What an wonderful idea! I'd loev to do that.....Maybe I will, if I can find a place that is guarded against lizards...hehehe..It looked so romantic, fun, and cozy..... I'm still following the Duckett case....Hoping they will find little Trenton alive...safe... Last night, I saw "The Girls Next Door"...after watching a marathon of "Dr. 90210"....I love the "Girls Next Door"...Actually, I really enjoy watching Bridget. She's so sweet and girly :) She's someone whom I would love to be friends with...She enjoys dressing up, theme parties, and Animals! I haven't seen many episodes, so I really don't understand the whole living together thing...but, it looks like fun. Like an ongoing slumber party...In a recent episode, they had travelled to Europe....I loved seeing the Venetian segment... Other than enjoyig some fun tv...I'm enjoying getting back into my writing.... Although, I still feel a bit *blocked*....I am doing collages, and little children stories... It's been nice...nothing serious...just relaxing.... |
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| Monday, September 25th, 2006 |
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~...."Happy Ever After" is the title of today's episode of "Barefoot Contessa".... ...Oh my my, I saw her cook * Rum Raisin Rice Pudding *.... ....And it looked to die for.... ( I think I gained 5 pounds just looking at it!).... **Click Here To View Barefoot Contessa's Recipe at The Food Network** Just posting the recipe here so I can cook some for my father....(and for us at home too) ~Rum Raisin Rice Pudding ~ Recipe Summary In a small bowl, combine the raisins and rum. Set aside. Combine the rice and salt with 1 1/2 cups water in a medium heavy-bottomed stainless steel saucepan. Bring it to a boil, stir once, and simmer, covered, on the lowest heat for 8 to 9 minutes, until most of the water is absorbed. (If your stove is very hot, pull the pan halfway off the burner.) Stir in 4 cups of half-and-half and sugar and bring to a boil. Simmer uncovered for 25 minutes, until the rice is very soft. Stir often, particularly toward the end. Slowly stir in the beaten egg and continue to cook for 1 minute. Off the heat, add the remaining cup of half-and-half, the vanilla, and the raisins with any remaining rum. Stir well. Pour into a bowl, and place a piece of plastic wrap directly on top of the pudding to prevent a skin from forming. Serve warm or chilled. ....She served a bowl (warm) to her friend, next to a gorgeous fireplace. She said it is a great comfort food....and recommended giving a bowl (or two) to a sick friend..... It was perfect, seeing this show this moring, because my father LOVES rice pudding and tapioca pudding - it's his favorite dessert. He's bored out of his mind at the rehab center he's staying at while recovering from breaking his rib and collarbone in a fall. He's going to love this! He's been complaining about how bland the food is there :0 Mm Mmmm...Hopefully, I'll be able to cook some in the next few days.... Last night, they aired an epidsode of Paula Deen visitng England and France for the first time...It ws so touching to see the part where her sweetheart suprised her with a rooftop supper at the Four Seasons...And...throughout the show she had said that she wished her sons were there too....He suprised her again, by having her boys (and her daughter-in-law) join them for supper! She was bawling her eyes out so much, I had tears in my eyes - I couldn't help it! It was *soo* touching and sweet~ I loved it :) |
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| Sunday, September 24th, 2006 |
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~.... It's the first time I have ever seen this show called "Cupcake Challenge" - LOVE!! ...*teehee*....I do believe the *Cupcake* is the *Happiest* of all food..... ...I don't know a single well-adjusted human being and/or furry friend, who doesn't smile upon being given one....I just see one, and I'm all smiles... : ) When I bake them I hear the song "Dreamlover" (I love that song - I swear I hear little birdies tweeting in it - It's so cheery, I can go from being tired to frolicking about with Mariah in a meadow....heehee...) I would love to open my very own *Cupcake Shoppe*. It would be filled with A million different types of cupcakes, and it would have the cutest little booths and would resemble an olde time soda fountain....sort of like Farrell's ice cream parlor~ The a/c would be super cold, and I'd love to have a round shaped fireplace in the center of all of the booths....The color theme would be baby pink and baby blue and white.... The music would be Mariah's songs...especially Dreamlover, and the 80's songs that I loved so much!...hehehe...It probably would not be feasible for a business, but I'd settle for a kithcn and a little play room like that - makes me want to have another baby right now! :) In the last year or two, I've really begun to enjoy *home-y* things.... I have so much fun trying out new cookware, dinnerware sets, flatware sets, and beautiful serviing dishes....A l;ot of it has to do with eBay.... It's like shopping all over the world from one's computer. And being on this tiny island, really does make it boring to have to only shop from a *store buyer's* tastes....It's really no surprise that it did not interest me all that much before...But now....I can't imagine my life without eBay...lol....I can shop whenever I want, and can practially find the exact thing that I am looking for...It's the BEST! At first, I had some unpleasant experiences with eBay....But I'm so glad I gave it another try....I've learned what to look out for, and it has been such a blessing to have during this last year...esp, since shopping at a mall the way I used to, is not going to happen. I love finding just what I want, then receiving it in the mail! Another cool thing is that this year I can prepare far ahead of time for Christmas.... Every year now, we participate in the Adopt a family programs during the holidays. Last year, I was stressed becuase I had hoped to go shopping at the mall, and wasn't able to...This year, I have had a wonderful time shopping on eBay for the gifts we will be giving to the adopt-a family program....It's such an awesome idea, and I love it! This year, I've been so into vintage lingerie (namely, peignoirs, nightgowns, and robes from the 50's, 60's, and early 70's....They were just so well made....They don't make them half as glamorous as they used to. I love to purchase the styles I love, and then take them to a seamstress or my mother, and have it made to my size in my favorite colors and fabric... Sometimes, sellers will list New Old Stock (?) which basically means that it is new, usually still with tags, but old (like the 50's)....Many times they launder up perfectly! My mother had a silky quilted robe when I was very little...I recall how soft and satiny it was...and I loved it because it smelled of her favorte parfum.. She hasn't had one like that in decades...lol...But recently I found one made by Vanity Fair. It's GORGEOUS...Soft baby pink and just the most beautiful robe she's ever seen. It had never been worn, and still had the tags...and the best part is that after being cleaned it came out perfectly. She loves it ~ But back to being prepared for Christmas...I decided this year, to really go all out for the *Mothers*....I've heard that many women who are in the program, sleep in basically shorts and tees (in other words, they do not have sleepwear )....I just cannot imagine sleeping in that every single night....Nighttime is when we relax, rejuvenate our minds and bodies...It's important for a woman to feel *good*, pretty, and most of all, relaxed and comfortable....I could never go to bed without a late night bath or shower, and then slipping into a silky nightgown, babydoll, or pj's (like those darling ones sent to me by Charlee)....It's how I wind down, and become comfy enough to call it a day....So I decided to give these Moms robes and nighties that will make them feel so wonderful,....Hopefully it will help to get a really good night's sleep...And goddess knows, that is what every busy mom (and dad) needs... : ) And I firmly believe that a Mother that is rested is better able to have more patience and enjoy her child/children..... and thanks to eBay, I can find every size and style under the moon! I think I will also be giving Food Network's "Everyday Italian's Giada de Laurentiis' DVD sets or Cookbooks...Well, either Giada's or Paula Deen's.....I enjoy both women, and I really love Giada's lovely ways.... I honestly do not understand the fuss over Rachael Ray...(I just do not find her grating voice and tight fit clothes on a pudgy body look....She's always rushing and not in an amusing way like Emeril....Love Paula Deen's easy-going style and Giada's beautiful Kitchen set...It looks spotless, and that's my kind of a cook!....Clean Clean Clean....eheheh ~~ Great fun & I look forward to Christmas this year without any worries... Ooo, another cool thing I found on eBay is this ultra cool umbrella....why do I feel like *deja vu*??? Perhaps I have already posted about this? Anyway, this umbrella has a bulb just under the canopy and it can light up -Sooo Cool! I've been trying to contact the manufacturer about retailing these, but haven't had any luck yet....I am going to try to see if they are listed in the directory so that I can phone them... They have the most awesome umbrellas... Not only does it have that bright light but it is a Big umbrella that can easily work for a couple ...Perfect for travelling _esp. at night...And sturdy...wow! I believe them when they say it is wind-resistant! Very very cool~ Well, I think I will try to get Aurey to bake some rainbow cupcakes!! Mmm Mmm~~~ ...It's the comfort food of comfort foods....~ |
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good.| Tuesday, September 19th, 2006 |
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~ Good Goddess! I really dislike that stupid commercial: Head on! apply directly to the ..blah blah blah ....Everytime that darn commercial airs, I flip the channel ! I was just about to fall asleep and I hear..."Head On!....so I wake up, pick up the remote and as I'm just about to switch channels, I see an angry bald black man yelling his head off!! FREAKED ME OUT!!!!!!! I thought, "holy shit, an angry black man took over my tv!! NO! He must have hijacked the commercial!! No! He's saying....it works??? What the....? It scared the daylights out of me! now I really dislike that commercial! ahaha One commercial I love is the one for Ionic Breeze (?) With Richard Thalheimer (I think) and this *adorable* baby girl - She's sooooo cute! She smiles so much and has the sweetest little face - I bet everyone just wants to kiss her, she's so cute :) Oh, and I think that commercial with the kitty massaging that woman is hilarious.... |
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shocked.| Friday, September 15th, 2006 |
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I feel so sorry for Anna Nicole...I can't even imagine what she must be going through...It's tragic....Every time she celebrates her baby girl's birthday, it will be tinged with heartbreak of losing her baby boy...The only word I know without certainty that she must be feeling is heartbreak....It should have been a time of such joy.....and the poor baby....she will grow up knowing that her birth and the death of a brother she would never know is but 3 days apart...
....Saw President Bush taking questions this morning...I don't think I have ever seen him so upset. Other than September 11....He looked utterly exasperated today....I really do not understand the problem that McCain, Warner and the other two have with being more specific...I would prefer a President who wants to *Know* what is acceptable and what is not, than one who doesn't take responsibility and then plays the "I didn't know it wasn't acceptable.." game when the protestors start accusing us of not following the Geneva Convention.....I guess they prefer to have a president who can make up his own definition of torture... ....And what about Darfur??? Why isn't anyone doing anything?? How can we all just stand by and watch this genocide? I don't understand......This is shameful...I have donated....but I feel I must do more....George Clooney's speech to the UN's security council was compelling and such a relief to see someone using his celevbrity for such an important cause. I have seen that Lafave woman all over the news in the past few days, and I can't help but wonder why why why is Matt Lauer airing such a meaningless interview while millions of innocent lives hang in the balance? We need more television programs explaining the plight of these people....What will happen to them if the UN does not send forces into Darfur....Do we need a repeat of Rwanda? Why doesn't Spike Lee FOCUS on Darfur instead of bashing our president? Where are the big Filmmakers? It may not make you millions to do a good documentary to raise awareness, but it will raise your level of decency and humanity - isn't that worth anything today? My nerves are on so on edge....Thank goodness for our furry angel *Georgie*....He's such a rascal - He adores a good game of Hide and Seek....and has everyone in stitches. It's so cute to see his lil head ducking down when he hears my door open....then he slowly peeks up at me, not knowing that I can see his lil ears poking out from behind the chair he hides behind....just delightful.... Another way I try to soothe the stress away is by bathing and showering with this delicious bath and body works shower gel/bubblebath/shampoo....It's from their holiday collection and the scent is *Hot Chocolate*....MmmmMmmm....I Love It!! When I use it, I feel like I'm baking a luscious chocolate cake while in the shower or bath...I am going to send some to friends...I'm sure it will be just heavenly to use when the weather is chilly...It's so warm and comforting....*yummy*.... ....Charlee, your Lay's Limon Potato Chips should be in your hands soon!! teehee, I'm thrilled to have found them for ya, and so happy I can finally send you something you love after all of your throughtful cards, gifts, and emails....*Million Hugs* & Much Love to you!! Keep safe and watch out for those storms!! ; ) ... |
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| Thursday, September 14th, 2006 |
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....Last Friday while flipping channels, I saw the adorable face of Trenton Duckett and stopped to watch the ensuing *attack* that the bossy big-boobed blonde launched on the mother of the sweet toddler. I rarely watch her show because nancy literally makes me sick to my stomach. I can't believe I ever thought kindly of her. She is a phony, vicious borderline psychotic, in my opinion. Seeing and hearing her dig her claws into Trenton's mother Melinda, so dismayed me, I found myself shouting at the television. I could not believe how CNN could allow her to behave in such an unprofessional manner. She had that glazed look in her eye that she has when she is in the throes of intimidating someone - Why? I didn't know if the mother had anything to do with the little boy's disappearance, but I sure as hell did not think she would ever get Melinda to come forward if she did. With every moment she was allowed to badger this Melinda, I felt like she was surely pushing this mother too far. If she wasn't guilty of anything, she surely was beside herself with the grief of not knowing where her baby was. And if she did have some part in his disappearance, bitch nancy was scaring her into silence, in my opinon. To add insult to injury, nancy was shamefully kissing ass to Melinda's estranged hsuband, and Trenton's father. Even so far as to give him *Special Thanks*...whatever the hell that means....this man had a restraining order against him, in regards to Melinda and Trenton....I guess nancy thinks that judges just hand those out like candy....Normally when my mother thinks that someone is behaving like a racist, I don't believe it...but in this case, she was attacking Melinda, who was adopted from S. Korea when she was 4 mos. old, I believe, and the father who had the restrainng order against him, is caucasian.... I couldn't help but wonder if the blonde boob would have treated the parties differently if both were caucasian, or if both were asian in ethnicity. I told my mother, that nancy should shut her mouth before she pushes the mother too far...After taking nancy's bullshit for a while, Melinda obviously did have enough, and she was not at the other end of the call. nancy gave her typical ugly ass smirk...and bossed one of her workers to let her know when they have melinda's mother ( I believe she later spoke to melinda's grandmother)...At that point, I worried, Melinda might commit suicide. I found it so odd and wicked that nancy *DID* ask about that pedophile, Karr, being on suicide watch, and yet, she did not think for a moment that her actions may have had any effect on a mother of a missing child. Regardless of whether or not, she had anything to do with his disappearance. That is one reason I prefer watching Greta Van Susteren's "On the Story" show...Greta is a very intelligent and fair interviewer. I wish that Melinda had chosen to go on Greta's show instead of nancy's...Greta would have been more thoughtful, and calm....nancy is like a rabid beast. She sees someone she does not like for one reason or another and viciously tries her darndest to tear them apart. - Despicable behavior.....and UNACCEPTABLE....She behaves like a petulant child....only, she is not a child, and she's a bitch....I look at her face sometimes when she's got her claws dug into someone, and she looks like a devil....seriously...the way her hair lies, and her harsh makeup....yuck...It's really true, that if a person is ugly inside, they're ugly outside....no matter how much makeup and hair product you use....in fact, nancy often uses the phrase, "like putting makeup on a pig"....that describes her to a T......I'm sorry for the insult to the piggies... When I found out the nest day on Kimberly Guilfoyle's show, "The Line Up", that Melinda had taken her life shortly before the interview on nancy's how aired on Friday, I was deeply, deeply sasddened and shocked....If she had nothing to do with Trenton's disappearance, it was horrible that she had been pushed to that by a aberaation of an ape masquerading as a tv show host. If she did have a part in Trenton's disappearance, the person who could have disclosed any information, and who would have, in my opinion, eventually speak, because she loves him, is gone...forever....It's tragic.... When Monday came around, I wanted to see just how nancy would face the cameras, after so many saw the way she treated Melinda....I felt stupid for wondering....How does any self-centered, Know-it-all, with a God-complex, behave in such a situaltion? Let's see....you defend your actions....*bitterly*.... You refer to baby Trenton as "IT" And continue to trash the deceased mother. Wow....What a gem CNN has in nancy grace. What a hateful witch. She was gone on Tuesday....had trouble facing the music? Returned on Wednesday....To read Melinda's writings in her blog on myspace... She and her fellow detective wannabes, analyze Melinda's rhyming blog as one of a "psychotic".... Clint Van Zandt, who I think has even been on nancy's shows in the past, has said on either Fox or Msnbc, that he belives nancy caused Melinda to take her life.... nancy goes on bashing Melinda - who is no longer alive, and unable to defend herself.. nancy cannot FATHOM, how in the world a single mother who is working and caring for her darling son, has the TIME to write so much in her blog....Of course you can't understand, becuase I imagine you do not have a creative bone in your body, when it doesn't include taking out your *imaginary* whip and bashing someone to a pulp with your bossy ass... I have had it with nancy grace...I think cnn should can her, even if they are going downhill anyway....She so reminds me of that ugly dixie wench natalie....Last night, I heard on Showbiz Tonight that the other blonde-big=boobed-bossy-bitch saw President Bush's, remark when he was asked what he thought of the dixie chicks...he merely said that they have a right to say what they want, and they should not be upset if people use their rigth not to buy their albums....to which the wench says "What a dumb fuck!" (big blond boob then looks into the camera as if she is speaking to President Bush and says:) "You're a dumb fuck". natalie, you're the dumb fuck....and unlike the President who is older and wiser, your ass is saggy, your tits are baggy, and nobody I know wants to hear your stupid comments. I think Webster's should show your picutre for the term "Dumb Blonde"....Hear you all had to cancel some concerts eh? *ouch*....better think twice before you open your asshole assface.. I've just had it with bossy, blonde, short ass bitches....Enough.... nancy's ass is all over the news today..and not in a good way.... I hope she's fired. ** Gee wiz, I have to stop typing entries when I'm drowsy....New pain meds are taking forever to get used to....** |
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bouncy.| Monday, September 4th, 2006 |
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How very sad...I just saw, on the news, that Steve Irwin passed away. Unbelievable.... ....The Labor Day holiday was one of my favorite holidays groing up.... Every year, from as far back as I can remember, my parents and I would bring our comforters and pillows into the living room - usually a couple of my cousins would sleep over too - and we'd stay up and watch the Jerry Lewis Telethon.... Naturally, when I was a teen, I was usually out with friends, instead, but after my daughter was born, Irvin and I continued the all-nighter in front of the tv tradition...lol... Watching the Labor Day Telethon is like watching the ball on New Year's Eve.... Just a warm, fuzzy feeling....Like *comfort food*.... When I was a child, the weather, here in Hawaii was much different....Around this time of the year, there was already a slight nip in the air....It felt wonderful...because with the chilly weather, one knew that Thanksgiving and Christmas would be ever so near ~It also meant time for All new school supplies, brand new Fall Wardrobe, and best of all, Blank Report Cards... My mother always reminded me that "It's a blank slate ---a chance to work hard and get straight As"....*teehee*....uh-huh, more like, a chance to spend all day with my friends!! lol... Great times...Awesome memories... Now, it's still HOT HOT HOT.... I miss the chilly weather... I wonder if Hawaii will ever have that wonderful weather again.... And sometimes, when that lil north korean troll starts *Playing* with his new missiles, I wonder if there will even be a Hawaii here next year... :0 Happy Labor Day.... (*hugs* to you Charlee!! Have a great day!) |
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| Sunday, September 3rd, 2006 |
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~.....I L-O-V-E Christopher Hitchens!! Woohoo, Finally...But Finally.....Someone who's NOT afraid to calll Bill Maher on his crap!! ahahahah....Calling him a "masochist"....Finally someone who won't bend over to kiss Bill's ass....Not only is Christopher an Uber Brilliant man....eern referring to Bill's stupid audience as STUPID...I LOVE THIS MAN!! I could kiss him!! If this country were a *school*, the far left would be the dim-witted bullies, hyped up on Gatorade! The sheepish dems would be the ass kissers who'd do anything to be "friends with the Bully Football team (later to make up the personnel at the local carwash).... I'm so bored with the dull sarcasm of the mindless left....Go ahead, keep underestimating the President....Those mocking him today, are the same who'd be whining for a Strong country who wil save their asses when they ignore state dept warnings and vacation in the middle east~ All the joe wilsons, pelossis, muthas (oops! murtha) , clitons, sheehans, sarandons, deans, and mahers of the world are nothing but spineless,, and self -centered, fluffers.... Seeing them going on each other's lil bandwagons stroking each other, is utterly pathetic... These are the clowns who raise twits of the paris mentality (or lack thereof).... It's a trip to think about how hateful they are....Never have I seen such viciousness spewing from one dilapidated party....We had an excellent Democratic Governor....while I was growing up.... I had associated his quiet, and effective ways with the democratic party...He must look at his party, with disgust....So undignified.... Sadlly, I no longer associate dignity and decorum with the democratic party.... quite frankly, I find them despicable... .....Woohoo....Chris just opened a can of Whoop-ass on the Bill Maher that no one in Hollyweird will say boo to! ....Bill irritates me like crazy,but it was soooooo worth watching to see him put in his place~~ :) I Love Christopher Hitchens.... |
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amused.| Friday, September 1st, 2006 |
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.....I was disgusted to hear about that hateful British Jackass's so-called "Documentary" (apparently he doesn't know the definition of "Documentary"). It's called "Death of a President"....And of course, in it, President Bush is assasinated....I don't have to see the blasted film to Hate it...as much as he hates PRESIDENT Bush....And that's all this is about...Hate....This is not aobut opening up discussion....It's about Bashing our President. I hope that reptile 's film is NEVER shown here. ...I'm sure the democraps are loving this moron....perhaps some of the Hollywood ilk even contributed in some way....I think it's just pathetic that their hatred just keeps growing and growing.....Other countries just love to bash us...but who do othey whine for when the shit hits the fan? Their asses are on the news whining "Where is the United Staaates???"..... Ingrates....they make me ill....So does the thought of another 4 years of that Clinton witch in the white house....She's such a bitch....Whenever I see her ugly mug with that cocky smirk on her face, she reminds me of those type of women who stink up the ladies room....lol...it sounds weird, but, I'm sure some women know what I mean....You walk into the ladies room to powder your nose...minking you own business, and this horrid smell compromises the room....then this old bitchy constipated woman with that smirk on her face comes troddling out....ugh! Why don't these women use the restroom at home? That smell that they leave behind, sticks to one's clothing...it's so gross...And that is what hillary reminds me of....When she bitched at Donald Rumsfeld, I wished sooo hard that he would have stood up, and bitch slapped her---to make her shut up! It's no wonder Bill had to be with other women to get it up! Who is aroused by a domineering, nagging witch? I've just had it with these short women with big mathronly boobs....They're bossy, know-it-alls, who know nothing at all....You know the type...they always have to have the last word....So self-righteois, and NEVER admit they're wrong....I've excised a few from my life, and now the dems fancy putting one in the white house? Even my mother, who has been a democrat for most of her life, has had enough of the way they bitch and moan...She did not like any of the democratic candidates and she did support President Bush....Our family is very moderate....and none of use like the nastiness the democrats dish out.....We all think that Sheehan bitch is totally *Wacked out*.....Bless her son...but she is not the only mother to lose a child, and the way she's behaving, is Shameful to his memory. If she disagrees with the war, fine...disagree....but following the President around, harassing him, is going overboard....and yet she's gotten away with it, because she's playing the *grieving mother* card....yeah, being a menace to the President doesn't garner a speck of sympathy from me....If she was doing that to an everyday citizen, she'd probably have a restraining order put on her!.....I had to laugh when the President met with that man from New Orleaans...Rocky something....He went about making his point, the correct way....Unlike sheehan, he was polite and respectful....Did that take away from his effort? No...Unlike that batty sheehan, HE met the President.... While waiting for Dr. 90210 to come on, Simple Life was on...My goddess it's scary how stupid Paris is. I really do not care for either one, but Paris grosses me out. I swear her voice sounds like a drag queen's...it's so low, and she sounds stoned half of the time. She's not famous for having a talent....She's just infamous for using sex and money to be in the public eye. Please....She's not pretty...She's clumsy, apathetic, unattractive, and a dimwit. Her eyes are *dead*....I guess she fancies the thought of bedroom eyes, but unlike Marilyn, she has small eyes with a moon face...and she has more wrinkles that I do! I'm in my 30's and have yet to find one wrinkle - then again, she has dark skin, so it's only going to get worse as she ages. I don't know what wome like about dark skin.... Then there's her album....I've only heard parts of 2 songs....and she's basically *talking* to music....It's scary her people want little girsl to look up to her....Goodness , look forward to a generation of airheads...if that is the case..I'm so glad that the stars that Aurey likes are appealing because of their depth...We both love Angelina Jolie....To think that little girls are looking up to such an empty and vapid individual...is quite simply....depressing... |
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~......While channel-hopping, caught a glimpse of Miles O' Brien wishing Daryn Kagan the best on her new website. I was thrilled to see that her website will be about good news...*S*...In 2003, I had sent an email to CNN, mostly expressing my dismay at their extreme negativity, and had asked them why they don't invest in a network that ONLY reports GOOD News....Only highlighted GOOD people...Well, they obviously did not think much of my email and suggestion....However, I am thrilled that *someone* in broadcasting feels the same about what an audience could use more of... I know people have a morbid curiosity about Horrible news, but only an angerball could stand listening/watching the stories of doom and gloom that CNN loves to concentrate on. I never thought I would prefer FOX, but I these days, I do....(plus, Bill Hemmer's there...lol).....I'm looking forward to checking out her website....I want all the *feel-good* news, I can get! .....Recently I found someone on eBay who sells this hot choclate mix that my former husband's boss once thoughtfull gaev us - he knew that I am a chocolate-lover and gave us a case of KAYO Hot Cocoa *mmmm*....My memory sucks right now, but I *do* remember his name - Jason....*s*....I never forget a person who gives me chocolate...*teehee*...And the cool thing is that one can't find this brand in the stores....The person who sold it to me, states that it is the brand that many restaurants and stores use to serve their customers.....I bought it on Monday, et voila! It was here in my happy lil arms yesterday!! - Though the mailman looked rather *pissy* - the seller had put (6) 2lb pillow packs in the flat rate Priority mail box, so it was HEAVYYYY.....When he handed the box to me, my hands dropped from the weight, and my right shoulder and boob is Killing me! I feel like I tore something....But at least I have my Hot choccy!! Aurey is going to LOVE it - She loves hot drinks....which takes me to my next subject....Buying a hot drink machine.... .....I want one....and I do not know which one will better suit us.... ....Right now, I'm deciding between.... ......Senseo..... .....Tassimo.... ....Keurig...... They all have aspects I love....and it's hard picking one... I may end up purchasing all 3 just to try for a bit, and see which one is best.... I Love doing it the old fashioned way....using the teakettle...however, there are two downsides.... 1. The time it takes ....When I'm not feeling well, and I want a cup of hot chocolate or tea, just knowing that I will have to boil the water, then wait...I usually end up staying in bed....Whereas, if it were going to take a matter of 2-3 minutes to fetch a cup, I'd probably do it.... 2....These hot drink machines can make the drinks frothy, which I know Aurey would LOVE.....And we'd both enjoyo all of the different flavors available in those pods and discs....Very cool..... ......Lately, I have been enjoying watching episodes of "Dr. 90210"....I like Dr. Rey and Dr. Li.... Dr. Rey is so handsome and sweet...And he's a wonderful Plastic Surgeon... I know it's an old show, but it's interesting....It was funny to hear the anesthesiologist asking the patient questions about her favorite place to travel to....That's the same question that mine asked me while going under....I guess that's what they learn to ask? lol...Some parts are hard to watch...esp., when they show the parts of skin they have cut off of people who have had that surgery to lose weight....It's awful, how the skin just sort of hangs from their body....I feel sorry for them...I mean, if they have that surgery, they should include the plastic surgery to fix the hanging skin as part of the whole procedure..... ....I have thought about having plastic surgery to correct the part of my nose that was broken by my former hustband on one of his *looney tunes* days....My doctor at the time had told me that even though one can't notice that it has aa slight indentation, it could affect my breathing......I don't know about my breathing, but my nose does hurt when I sneeze or get angry...not kidding....I would also love to have my Dr. give my nose a little higher bridge....just a little... ....And I'm sleepy....finally....so off to la la land I go....I hope.... |
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| Friday, July 28th, 2006 |
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| Tuesday, May 23rd, 2006 |
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~.....Was supposed to have another ultrasound today, but rescheduled due to Aunt Rose's visit....I have been listening to the audiotape of the book "Cancer Schmancer" by Fran Drescher, whic is playing most of the time, while I am trying to make a decision on what I will do. I have to make one within the next week. Bless her heart for writing that superb book about her experience (and not losing her sense of humor) whilst being diagnosed, treated, and recovering from uterine cancer. I am going to write a letter to her, thanking her because, she makes the future at least a little bit less scary. Besides, she's fabulous and I love watching "The Nanny".... ....Aurey adopted a lil fluffy silver tiger kitty whom I named *Georgie*....She was sweet to let me bestow a name upon the first adopted pet of her own.....He's darling and oh sooo comical! He is petite for a year old kitty, and bears such a close resemblance to my darling Chibi. He also has the same type of stripes that Nicholas had....I love him to bits already! Of couse, he was named "Georgie" after our President (I find *his* comical side so endearing also). Aurey's a wonderful *Mummy* to her Georgie and it's lovely to have a kitty to share our home with again...Even Harry, my dove, seems to be amused by Georgie's little antics, esp. when he pounces whilst playing with his bouncy balls....Aurey had the biggest grin on her face when she brought him home for the first time. My mother had been totally against adopting another pet (she was very close to Nicholas and she has never liked getting close to our pets because of the sadness that comes when they pass)....but she can't help herself...she is a sucker for animals, just as I am, although I have no problem getting close to and adoring any furry or feathered animal....So after much "no no No-ing" from my mother, Aurey had come to me for an "OK" to adopt a kitty. (though she never had any doubt about what I'd say..) It made me feel so Good to see how absolutely thrilled she was to have her own kitty....She had fun shopping for his new collar with a little bell that dangles - it's so cute, hearing that cute *jingle* whenever he moves about the house. Needless to say, my mother bonded with him right away.... That evening she called us to come over to her and watch as she would *meow* to Georgie, and he would respond - every single time...lol... It was hilarious...He also jumped onto my father's lap - which shocked us all, because normally, our pets would not be very affectionate with him... But not Georgie...He jumped onto his lap and peered up at my father as if to say "HELLO, I"m here!! Get used to it!" teehee... My father adores him . We all do... Well, last week's "Will & Grace" was the Final episode....I was in too much pain to pay full attention to it, but from what I did see and comprehend, I did not like the storyline - I mean, what a sad ending! It spotlighted parts of Will and Grace's friendship that I did Not Like....like their self-centered behavior, and stubborness....I enjoyed the hour before the last episode MUCH more....I loved watching scenes from the past and hearing the actors thoughts....I wish they had focused on really what made "Will and Grace" so special....the writers, I feel, dropped the ball. Still, I will miss the show, and did boohoo at the end, when Karen and Jack sang "Unforgettable".....together..... Oh and "ER"....I was so shocked at the way they left us hanging!!!! Abby better be alright!! How dare they do that to a pregnant character and Oh my Goddess what will Luka do if another woman and child he loves dies? And where was Abby bleeding from? Oh next season will not come a day too soon! :) My pet peeves of the week.... ....Horse racing....Dumb Dumb and Dumber....I feel so sad about the poor horse with the broken leg. I hope that he heals, and lives...Poor baby... ....Dixie Hens....uh-huh....no spring chickens there...only 3 big mouthed bimbos...the short, blonde one seems to keep growing horizontally everytime her ugly mug is plastered somewhere....Oh give me a break hag....You only spew your vitriol because you want publicity for your stupid cd. .Gee I wonder if their backs hurt from bending over and *kissing ass* so far to the left...Get over yourselves...nobody gives a rat's ass if you want to play nice or not, let alone the President of the United States....The way they flatter themselves with their self-righteous, distasteful attitudes, is so pathetic it's not even amusing....They remind me of a toddler throwing a tantrum becuase he/she wants attention and doesn't know how to gain it in a more suitable manner.....lol...That type of petulant behavior seems to be spreading like chicken pox. I'm not buying....sell crazy elsewhere...lol ....teehee...that last part pertains to removing myself from unhealthy relationships.... ....It's amazing what was once considered *normal* can prove to be so mind-numbingly *Out there* from a more grounded place...It's necessary for comfort zones to be shaken up at times, when we need to see things from different perspectives....It's not always the most enjoyable experience, BUT, then, growth occurs, and that is vital to life...~ Off to pop a *Warm Delight* in the Micro.....MmmMmm Good!! ....143.... Have a beautiful day~ |
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| Friday, December 30th, 2005 |
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~....Lovely time shopping and wrapping gifts..... ....I'm a bit sad that the season is over for the year....I enjoyed the Adopt-a-Family program......I had so much fun shopping for little ones....and it's a breeze because they tell you the things each family needs.....I applaud the person who began the program.....It sure has caught on....and that gives me hope in my fellow human beings again...teehee..... ......Had to go to my Dr.'s for the zoladex injection, last week Thursday.... Why do I have the feeling, my oh so sweet Dr. forgot to mention the injection would not be in my arm.....The nurse taking my Blood pressure was nice enough to let me know that it would be in my abdomen....HUH??? (Boy, I had the worst panic attack at that moment and wanted to Haul out of there....) But my Dr. Quckly came in, gave the nurse a rather exasperated look, and exccused her from the room so that we could talk.... He basically gave me the chance to voice all of my fears about how big the needle would be and why would I need an injection to numb me before I received the bigger injection......He was patient and kind as always....and told me this is, unfortunately, the last option I have before moving towards another surgery (this time an aggressive one). I asked him, what happens if I refuse another surgery? would he stop my pain mangement? Would he be upset with me? He leaned over and said that no, he would not just leave me in pain....and he simply said that although Most girls would choose surger to remove ALL of the tumor/cyst and ovaries and uterus if that was where the tumors were growing.....He understood that "you're a bit more attached to your ovary *giggle*"....To which I replied....Doctor! I'm only 38...My daughter's 19 and all grown up....I miss having a little one....I might want a baby....He was smiling all along and nodding his head as if he understood.... and said....I think I know who you are and that's why I want to help you in any way I can, to avoid another surgery... -------> Is my Doctor and Angel Sent From Heaven or What? <--------- I love him for being so kind and understanding.... ....Tom phoned me today....He sounds Fabulous! He's working with his uncles, and spent Christmas with his family. ......On a sour note....I'm not taking kindly to the medicine in the injection.... .....I'm freezing most of the time and the rest of the time, I'm so hot, my face feels totally flushed....I've also had these terrible shooting ultra sharp pains in my lower abdomen.....don't know what it means...but not feeling too good about it... I'm so happy that Tom is doing so well....We had a good talk today.... and I'm glad.....I hope he keeps on keeping on....and that some sweet girl will see beyond the illness.....to the beautiful boy inside.....I love him and want him to be truly happy.... Baby...I love you too...I don't know what I'd do without you.... Happy New Year's Eve All !!!!!! |
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| Friday, December 16th, 2005 |
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~....So thrilled that "Long Way Round" has *Finally* been released in the US.... Even if it's not the complete version.... But it's not to be had here....I've been waiting since Tuesday for Tower to get the DVDs in....sometimes I really am miserable living on an island.... If I'd known it would not be in yet, I would have pre-ordered it online... ....I *Adore* Ewan McGregor..... Love his cheeky personality, and gorgeous face.... And Goddess, his accent is to die for... *s* It's cool that the episode of ER that he had a guest appearance on is titled "The Long Way Around".... ...My "Star Wars : Revenge of the Sith" dvd is in my dvd daily lately....teehee... He and Hayden Christensen are both so sexy~~ Natalie Portman must have been in *heaven* onset with them.... Seeing them is a lovely distraction..... I've finally decided to go ahead and allow my Dr. to give me the zoladex injections.... He's been so patient with me, I feel I should meet him half way and do it.... I wanted to wait until mid January, but it's getting harder to manage the pain... I hope it works....I've also decided that I will not go under the knife again.... So, if this doesn't work, that's pretty much it..... The only concern I have is being in pain....As long as that is tolerable, and I can do things on my own, I'm not complaining... It was funny, late this evening, I'd been watching my favorite host on QVC, Antonella.... She's so sweet and I just love it when she's on becuase she's forever giggling and talking about her children...Anyway, tonight, a woman called in - she had just purchased a ring or bracelet....and she said she was going to give it to her daughter...She went on to say that while she was in the hospital, all the ladies in the Cancer ward loved watching QVC....She said someone had spoken of doing research on the healing power of QVC....heheh....that's hilarous....and so true...it might not cure an illness, but it sure does feel nice to be able to *Shop* even if one can't go walking round the mall....A glr's gotta do...what a girl's gotta do~~ *s* ...*tea time*....Earl Grey with a warm blueberry scone and devonshire cream..... ....*yummy*....Nicholas seems to agree enough to get him out of bed and over to the kitchen... :) |
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thirsty.| Sunday, December 11th, 2005 |
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.....Watching (after much trepidation) Larry King's show tonight on the subject of the Freaking IN-fucking-Humane slaughter, cruelty, and skinning of helpless animals..... ...I did not want to watch this show because....for me....it kills me to see such utter cruelty....I knew it would DEEPLY DISTURB me, and right now, I know it would not help my health issues, to feel so *BROKEN*.....that's the only word I can use to describe what my heart feels after seeing what I have of the show...and I've only been watching it for 11 mimutes... ....I applaud Alec Baldwin and Heather McCartney, Dennis Kucinich for speaking out for these innocent VICTIMS of Freaking Aberrations of Apes....The do not deserve to be called *humans*.....These monsters are skinning cats and dogs ALIVE. They are crammed into crates, and kicked about, then Skinned alive right before all of the others....I was so full of rage when I saw the poor baby kitties cowering together, even comforting each other while some fuckwit CHINESE person sticks his hand in an ropes one of them....I am NOT Purchasing anything that I have the slightest feeling may be from China, Korea and Phillippines (All 3 countries treat animals HORRIBLY) until they STOP these acts of Unspeakable Cruelty!!!!!!! They are now showing a Geramn shepard tied to a fence and SKINNED ALIVE for 20 minutes.... (they only showed less than a minute - Heather McCartney saw the entire footage and said the poor dog suffered for 20 minutes as he was skinned....I want to get that freak of nature over here....I can't say what I'd do to that coward bastard. I don't give a rat's asss about those who say PETA is too out there....Fuck it.... What about the way animals are treated? I guess it's more Polite to be a coward and do nothing huh?.....Well, PETA's getting a BIG Christmas Present from me.... I had a list of organizations I normally donate to, but after seeing such heartbreaking and HORRIBLE acts of cruelty, I am giving ALL of the money I can donate, to them. Seeing this just makes me feel like this world is HELL.....No matter how much money, love, things I have, my love for animals and children leaves me utterly heartbroken at seemingly every turn...Everytime I turn to the news, there's more cruelty.....I can't rest because of it....So many times during the day and night, I wonder to myself, what is happening to a helpless animal at this moment? an innocent child at this moment? The pain that I feel from my illness is NOTHING compared to the feeling of helplessness and Sadness in my heart.......It's heartbreaking..... I will do all I can....to help....but it won't be enough until PEOPLE BAN FUR - ALL FUR! There will be a reckoning someday.... I believe it has already begun....Mad Cow Disease....Avian Flu.... Please support PETA.... Please Help An Animal In Need.... Animals Give Us Unconditional Love.... Do they not deserve the SAME? |
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~ Oh Joy! I am in *80's Don Johnson* heaven right now....*teehee*.... ....24 hours of *MIAMI VICE*.....*s*....LOVE!! ....The episode now playing is one with the beautiful Sheena Easton ( as Sonny's wife)....It's one of my favorite episodes because she sings "Follow My Rainbow" in it... But, it's also a sad one because she is shot and dies as she is walking off the stage to Sonny waiting in the wings....He later finds out that she was pregnant....Sooo sad... When I first saw this episode years and years ago, I was just depressed when I saw it... But now, I just love seeing her beautiful face, and hearing her even more beautiful voice.......Aurey and I used to watch Miama Vice together whilst I would be getting dressed for work.....and My favorite was Don Johnson's character - oh my goddess I loved his luscious hair.....And my little Aurey just adored *Tubbs*....*s.*...nice memorices....I would sometimes worry about the content but what can I say, my daughter was born an old soul....nothing shocked her....and she enjoyed her Miami Vice time.... ....I was much saddened to hear that the brilliant Richard Pryor had passed..... In a sense, I suppose it's a blessing that he is no longer suffering..... But I loved the man - he was one of the comedians....who got me hooked on comedy.... He and George Carlin.....Goddess I was so young....That's the thing about growing older.....people you come to like/love/ enjoy...begin to pass on.... .... TBC ...... |
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thoughtful.| Saturday, December 3rd, 2005 |
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....Loving This Song.....Love The Goo Goo Dolls.... ....And Indeed My Wish Too..... *~ Better Days ~* ~ Performed By : The Goo Goo Dolls ~ "And you ask me what I want this year And I try to make this kind and clear Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days 'Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings And designer love and empty things Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days So take these words And sing out loud 'Cause everyone is forgiven now 'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again I need some place simple where we could live And something only you can give And that's faith and trust and peace while we're alive And the one poor child who saved this world And there's ten million more who probably could If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them So take these words and sing out loud 'Cause everyone is forgiven now 'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again I wish everyone was loved tonight And somehow stop this endless fight Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days So take these words and sing out loud 'Cause everyone is forgiven now 'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again 'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again....." .....*143*...... ....J'aimerais t'embrasser....partout...partout.... (oopsy! I need to read what I'm copying and pasting...I thought the original lyrics I had posted was not making sense at one point...My Bad!) |
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loved.| Friday, November 25th, 2005 |
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~....QVC has the cutest presentation now for pets....Soooo cute! ....I've done so much shopping from my bedroom this morning...That's a first!... Just bought Nicholas a darlnig Jungle gym for cats, and the FURminator (for us humans lol...it's wonderful....perfect to get rid of excess fur that is usually shed).... I just love watching the host Patty with all of the pets on the set...They are DARLING~ TBC.... |
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| Monday, November 14th, 2005 |
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~....Can't sleep at all.... ...Feeling too restless.... ...I loathe it when I'm unable to come to decsions in a timely manner.... ...And on the other hand, it seems I've been doing everything in my power to distract myself from having to do the *deep* thinking and perhaps researching, I should be doing in order to be making decisions (healthwise)..... ....One knows things are going off the deep end, when QVC is the preferred choice of television as opposed to the news junkie I used to be....I don't smoke, I don't drink, so really , my only vice is being a shop-a-holic, choc-a-holic...lol....So,.since I am not well enough to go out shopping, I must make do with shopping via the internet and tv.... The latter being a touch more entertaining esp. when they take those calls from customers...people who sound like they just woke...teehee... ....So last week, they had some shows with sweets and some lovely shiny things.... I placed a few orders, and the sales rep. apparently messed up on one of my orders, putting though multiple authorization requests for the ONE order..... I found out when I placed another order and was told my card had been declined... So I call, and find out what happened....and think to myself, it will be sorted out within a day.....oh but no....it was early Saturday so *They do not count Saturdays and Sundays*.....Monday?.....No, Miss, it will take another day.....Tuesday?....No, it will take 3 business days....Wednesday? (By this time I was so upset, I immediately asked to speak wtih the Supervisor/Manager of their Customer Service Dept., and when she started in with the same ol - same ol...I tore her a new one....I am not proud of it...I apologized *after* she fixed the situation.....And I did feel bad....It wasn't her fault that it was taking so long, it's just that being told the same thing again was the last straw....every feeling of anxiety, pain, confusion, fear, and of frustration came pouring out.....and I basically told her everything that had happened, every person I had spoken with, every mistake that had been made, and mad sure i did it without pause so she coulcn't interrupt me...finally ending with.. " I feel like it's like ....like....what's that movie called with Bill Murray where he keeps waking up with Andie Macdowell?!!!.....Groundhog Day....That's it!! I feel like it's Groundhog day with your company!!!..." .....I hear her laughing....and realize how I must have sounded....lol...then laughed myself....And she said, the magic words....I will fix the problem for you....I understand how frustrated you feel....And I will fix it today. Gee....did I feel like the biggest jerk..just then...I was lucky she was so kind..... Another person may not have found what I said and the manner in whicb I spoke, to her liking, and might not have done anything to assit me...(the only reaoson I was upset was because it took up the entire balance of my card and kept it tied up for 5 days -I wouldn't have been so upset if it were for a small mistake....) ...Earlier that day, I had an ultrasound and appt with my Dr. to discuss the results.... ...I was worried because although the pain from the incision had healed, I had that recurring pain that I had prior to the surgery....And 3 months later, He still had me taking both percocets and oxycontin....My weight keeps dropping...my hair is falling out like crazy....I was concerned....so was he... So I had the ultrasound....The technician (Nanette) was so nice...she told me what she saw and even pointed out things on the monitor....I really appreciated that...as the other tech, did not say a word to me about what she saw and that scared me more than anything.....Nanette said that she saw a mass in my ovary.....I pretty much zoned out after hearing that....She told me about some other fibroids in my uterus...etc... I walk to my Doctor's office.....He usually comes in right away....I remember that day, he took over 18 minutes to come in....Prepare for bad news....I was thinking to myself...Don't let him see how frightened I am..... When he came in, instinctively I looked up into his eyes, trying to see if I could tell what he would tell me....He smiled like he usually does, and for a moment, I almost thought, I was alright...I was ok...for a moment........ Then he sat down asked me how I was....And said..."Bad news......" ....Apparently, this mass that he tried to get rid of (and at the same time, save my ovary)....well....it's the *Mother of all Masses*....it's back with a vengeance, and he looked utterly baffled at how fast it had grown within 3 months....I was pale, and my finegers were grasping my book so tightly, I had to catch myself a few times, when I saw him looking at them....He then told me my options... 1. to treat with these hormone injections that he hopes would shrink the mass (and at the same time - put me in a state of menopause ---Goddess is that really an *option*?) 2. Yet another surgery to remove the cyst, and this time, he would not be able to save my ovary. (option 1 is sounding better) .....He tells me he's so sorry...and moves forward as if he means to try to comfort me.... And without realizing it, I'm moving back away from him in my chair.... He asked me if Im alright, and said that I looked like I was freaking out..... I felt terrible...I didn't mean to move away from him...I think I just connected him with the word *Surgery* and *Injections*....and my natural instinct is to take flight... lol....He is an excellent Doctor and I wish I could have been a patient under better citcumstances... ....Before beginnning the hormone injections (zoladex), he wanted to do a biopsy for uterine cancer.....And in my case, since valium, ativan, etc, do nothing to calm me, he said it would be a simple procedure done in the operating room..... I said I would give consent to have it done...Then had nightmares anytime I would fall asleep long enough to dream.... it had taken such a toll...this looming over me....not only because of the procedure, but because of what if it turned out to show cancer? would I do anything? what would I be willing to do? will I be in pain for the rest of my life?.......Call me a fool....but this fool....for the moment at least...believes ignorance is bliss.... I asked my Dr. if I would be able to postpone the biopsy until after the holidays... He explained that he wanted to do the biopsy before starting the hormone injections because it could mask the cancer (I have no idea how)....But he said he understood what I was feeling and agreed to continue with the pain management and begin the injections to see if it will work to zap out that mass. He said we will be able to tell if it will work in a month and half....Right now, hes' waiting for my insurance to approve the treatment....I am not looking forward to it....He told me he will give me something to numb the area...*scary*... :0 ....My father has been in and out of the hospital 4 times in the last 3 months... And he is driving my mother crazy...He doen't mean to....She is too impatient.... I probably would be too if I did not know what it feels like to feel utterly helpless and frustrated when one is unwell... What a depressing entry....Oh but I had some good laughs watching SNL this week! ...I about died laughing at the *Caulk* sketch...teehee... ....on a more positive note....I have been doing much much more writing.... ....Have got to see this week's ER....I hope Neela is not killed off...I've come to like her character...*s*....Will Luka & Abby get together? I don't know if it was, but I could have sworn the actor playing the little girl's kdinapper was C. Thomas Howell....If so, wow, he looks so different....I love John Leguizamo on ER...He's not Noah, but a great addtion nonetheless....and John Stamos? Not too shabby...:) Nice....~ *143 darling....* |
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ditzy.| Tuesday, September 20th, 2005 |
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......Happy Happy Birthday Phil!..... .....I wish you all the happiness your heart can hold..... .....Many Sweet Memories to Make You Smile.... ....And Most of All, I Wish You Good Health Always.... Hope you had fun celebrating sweet boy!! Debbe sends you Happy Birthday wishes as well!! |
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| Sunday, September 4th, 2005 |
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I've not written in my lj after the sugery because I've had complication after complication and I still don't really know where I stand. ( Read more... ) |
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pensive.| Monday, August 8th, 2005 |
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~.....I swear Murphy's Law has been the Law of *MY Life* this last week. Everything that could have gone wrong, has. So I'm hoping Ol' Murphy will put law where the sun don't shine for today, because in approx. 5 hours, I'll be at the mercy of My Doctor, his *Skillful* Hands, and Hopefully...Sheer Good Luck.!...~ Ah well, at least I was able to see the final episode of my Beloved "Queer As Folk"... (I really really really wish Brian and Justin did tie the knot....and move together to NY ---Now that would have been a *Happy Ending*...lol).... It's been a great ride! ~ Mon Dieu/Déesse, Donnez-moi la sérénité d'accepter les choses que je ne puis changer, Le courage de changer les choses que je peux, Et la sagesse d'en connaitre la différence....~ Have an Awesome Week All ~ ..............*143*............... |
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nervous.| Monday, July 25th, 2005 |
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~...Right....So I finally met my new pcp at the end of last month.... ....Told her about the pain I've been having (well, the newest chronic one lol).... ....She referred me to a lovely female gynecologist, who could in turn refer me to a specialist who could take care of the problem if it was the endometriosis again.... .....Met her, and when she examined me, she told me she felt several masses.... ...."Probably Fibroids, which is very very common - no problem"..... ....So she schedules an appt for an ultrasound ( 2 weeks later)..... ....Pain grew considerably worse, and out of sheer desperation, called the Dr, who had done the surgery in 2002, and since he knew my history, he was able to order an ultrasound two days later.....Bless his soul....gave me great pain meds which makes such a HUGE difference.....Good....Ultrasound is done, and the only concern I have is that it took so long, and the technician told me I should hear from my Dr. by the end of the day....Hmmm....Straub told me they wouldn't have the results for a week, and Given, Queens is a better hospital, I wasn't that surprised , but she made a point to tell me not to wait until my next appt. with my Dr. to discuss my results.... Weekend passed.....no call from Dr....No news is good news, right....? Got the call on Monday....Not so good news....but not the end of the world either... ....Main points of discussion.... 1. Ultrasound results show 2 troublesome masses/cysts/tumors 2. One is in my left (and sole) ovary....normally the size of an almond...the Ovary is being stretched by the mass which is the size of a baseball or 8cm x 9cm x 10cm. ---- That's the moment of dread for me..... 3. Will need surgery to remove the mass, biopsy to check for cancer, and most likely to lose my left ovary, as well as uterus (due to the way it is situated and scar tissue, etc.) ....Now *Freaking out*..... 4. My Dr. was fine in the beginning with trying to shrink it with depo shot, but upon consulting, oncologist specializing in ovarian cancer, that option flew out the window, and what was once one incision (right where my c-section one is) has turned in to possibly a horrifying HUGE ass upside down T incsion/s....(if the biopsy looks cancerous).... .......So....since the 18th, I've been trying to take this in, and decide on whether I want to even go with the second incision should theh biopsy look cancerous....I admit, I'm vain vain vain....and I loathe the thought of that vertical scar on my body.... But more than that, I don't know that I can handle the recovery from 2 big incisions. At 18, and good health, I did not fare well at all post-op....I was anemic, and couldn't take the iron supplements....but I did have Irvin to help me 24/7 for 2 weeks and did not have all of the other health problems to complicate matters that I do now. ....I know I wouldn't have chemo, if it turned out cancerous....and honestly, if it were only about me, I'd just have them close me up after they removed the mass, cancer or not.....Because quality of life , not length , is what matters to me.... However, as a friend reminded me, I can't only think of myself..... I have to think of Aurey..... I'd love to think she'd want me not to suffer and be unhappy just to try to live longer... But, realistically, I don't think it's that simple.... I wish her father were here for her... But he's not....so....such is the dillemma I find myself in..... I saw Tammy Faye on Larry King, the other night, and watched her show tonight on WE....I have to say, I haven't been too fond of her in the past, but, I think she's brave and I like her attitude....Even though I don't know what I'll hear when I wake up from surgery, just watching her show, has made it a whole lot less scary....lol...She's hilarious....and I hope she keeps on keeping on....She loves life so much.... I've been watching tons of comedy and funny films..... *laughter is the best medicine*....I belive that :) My Dr. cracked up when I asked if I could at least have the surgery *AFTER* August 7th because that is the FINAL Show of the Final season of "Queer As Folk", and I've got to see it! I told him, I'd hate to die without knowing what happens! (of course I was just joking about dying)....but I was serious about Seeing that show, so he kindly agreed to the 8th...lol....*Yay!!* The same day I'd seen him, we came home, and my father ended up going to the hospital with a ruputed appendix.....He had surgery at midnight, and although he got through the surgey alrgiht, he suffered a heart attack soon after in the ICU.... Needless to say, my mother is FREAKING OUT..... ....I"m doing fine mentally.....I'm not fearful, unless I think about the seocnd incision and what that entails.... I look terrible....pale....no color in my face....My pcp wants to give me Ativan in addition to the 4 xanax per day I already take....I said I didn't need it then.....but I've been having nightmares the last 4 nights so I might take her up on it, and see if that helps.... ......So reason for this entry is.... I would like to hear from any lovely lady who has gone through what I am, and can give me some advice or enlighten me on other options that may be available....that I'm not aware of.....Surgery is terribly invasive and it can't hurt to put this on here and ask..... I'd love to hear from you.... - you can send me an email - you don't have to leave anything in the comment area of my lj.... ....Otherwise, life is peachy.... just took a tylox so I'm feeling no pain for the next hour and half....lol....And that is the downside to builiding up a tolerance to such meds. :( lol....I am hoping to see "Wedding Crashers" this week - but i'm so sleepy most of the time....so I might just have to wait til it comes out on DVD.... Decisions.....Deciions...... 143 babee.... :) |
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mellow.| Friday, May 13th, 2005 |
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~....I know I'm not myself when I can't sit through, let alone choose a film to watch.... .....2am this morning....as usual, tossing and turning with insomnia.....I sat up and ... ....went over to my dvd library and just stared up and down, trying to settle on one to view, for a good half hour..... Finally, I went to fetch a cup of tea....Nicholas must have been restless too because he popped his furry head in the kitchen and *meowed* at me..... ....So I tossed his bouncy ball around for a bit while waiting for the water to heat.... And I remembered that just the night before Chibi passed away, I had been playing with Nicholas....bouncing that same ball and letting him chase it and then bat it around.....Chibi was resting in his bed, and he wanted to play too, so he had sat up and looked at me with those beautiful eyes.....So I sat down next to him and bounced the ball just a little so it would be within his reach, and he was his usual playful self, and gave that ball some good pats with his lil paw.....and I recall thinking.... * Oh, this lil munchkin is fine!* .....Then, as usual, I bent down and gave him my usual *baby-talk*..... ....I'd say...."Goodnight my sweet Chiblet....give me a kiss-kiss"..... And that's exactly what he did.....Every morning and night.... I'd bend down, and he'd look up so I could kiss his lil pnk nose.... ...It's not that I took it for granted....It's more that I find it so unbearable to walk out to the living room each morning and night to feed Nicholas, and reallize that I don't have my Chibi to greet, kiss and chatter to....I miss his sweet presence.... Nicholas is very affectionate and sweet tempered....and I love him to death.... Chibi was my sweetheart.....He didn't have a mean bone in his body... Anyone who met him, (and had an appreciation for animals) adored him.... Whereas, Nicholas would sometimes be a bit bossy with him, and *pop* him on the head with his paw, if he wanted Chbi to move over whilst eating....Chibi never *popped* him back, or hissed.... And the bunny....Chibi adored *Thumper* (our holland lop bunny who passed years ago).....He and Thumpy would always nap together in the afternoon....And she would often hop back to her bunny cage when she felt sleepy....and Chibi would sleep on top of her cage....We had to place a little blanket on top for him..... When Thumper passed away, Keiji and Aurey had buried her in our back yard... The next day, my mother couldn't find Chibi anywhere in the house, and I was worried sick (I did not allow our cats out of the house unless we were carrying them ).... No one knows how Chibi got out of the house, but my mother found him.... He was lying on the ground where Thumper had been buried the day before.... ....Animals grieve....I knew that....but that stunned me because he found Thumper's grave all by himself....He loved *Thumpy* so much, he had to say goodbye..... ....After that....I realized how sensitive he was...and when our other lil mini-kitty ( by that I mean, a kitty that remained the size of a kitten), *Momo*, had been ill, and I was told by the vet that she would not live long and could not leave the vet's....I brought Chibi to the vet's office and asked him to allow Chibi to remain with her.... At first he was hesitant, thnking it would upset Chibi.....but he agreed to let them stay together for the afternoon and call me to let me know if I should pick him up.... When the vet called, he apologized and said that he was wrong..... He said Chibi was lovingly caring for her...comforting her...and that Momo looked very peaceful and relaxed with him there.....So he told me that he felt it would be good for both kitties if Chibi remained with Momo.....I agreed....and went down before they closed, to spend time with them....Indeed, Chibi was all snuggled up next to Momo, and every so often, he'd nudge her softly with his nose and lick her fur....as if he was grooming her....comforting her....I held her that day for the last time...and said my goodbye...and how much I loved her.....When I left, they were snuggled up together.... ...When the phone rang early the next morning....I knew who it would be, and what I would be told...... This particular veterinarian was very caring and he lives right above his office, so he had gone in to check on Momo throughout the night....She had passed away somewhere between 3am and 5am.....She was alive when he checked on her at 3am ...and when he checked at 5 am, he said she had already passed, and that Chibi was still by her side... ....I was devastated....at losing her.....but I was comforted that she didn't pass all alone, and that she had Chibi's loving presence with her during her final moments here... ....Just two of the many many things that made *Chibi* so precious..... .....I don't know when this heaviness in my heart will subside.... .....I'm not one to rush emotions....and if i'm brooding...so be it.... ...Only time and memories will heal this sadness in my heart.... ........I ended up watching this documentary called "War Photographer", on James Nachtwey..... One would think ....that it would only be more depressing...and yes, in a way it was very disturbing....But.... It was an excellent documentary....and I was just so amazed at how calm, grounded, and almost serene, this man is......He has a grace about him.... Watching him, photograph people....the way he communicates with some of his subjects...is like poetry in motion.... That made all the more stunning considering the circumstances he is under at times... I highly recommend seeing that documentary....It's available on dvd.... (I bought one on eBay - I couldn't find one here in Hawaii) .....I then watched a documentary called "My Flesh and Blood"..... About this woman who has adopted 11 handicapped children... She had 2 children with her former husband, and then adopted a little Korean girl (who is now grown).....Her marriage ended when she adopted the first of the 11 disabled children...So basically, she has raised all 11 on here own....The eldest girl, is a HUGE help to her, and at times, I felt sorry for her.....that a child should have such a trememdous amount of responsibility.....But she loves her Mom, and she says she doesn't want to live on her own (she just turned 18 in the doc.)...She said she preferred living with a family..... ....The that surprises me is that (and I know this sounds superfical) but the woman who has adopted and cares for these children with special needs, is BIG..... .....I'm not being sarcastic or critical....I just don't get it..... She is not a woman of leisure who just sits around and eats bon bons..... This woman is BUSY.....I don't get it..... And it's sad because at one point she's looking at an online dating site, and she's describing what she'd say in her profile if she had one.....She says she would say she's "Fat, with children......"....She wanted to get the "fat" part out of the way so if it was an issue, the man would not bother.... That's sad....She's obviously a woman with a loving heart and soul....and although she loves her children dearly, she does want someone to be there for her to...to love her... as a partner..... I hope a man with a kind, loving heart sees the documentary, and sees how special she is.... That documentary is on HBO..... ....Well, time to tidy up my desk - it's so disorganized, it's stressing me out just looking at it.... ....I am looking forward to Will Ferrell on SNL tomorrow night..... ....though it's still hard to laugh.....still.... ....Oh, and *Congratulations on your Re-election Prime Minister Blair.... I'm happy for him....~  ~ Nicholas ~ ....Chibi's Father.... |
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melancholy.| Wednesday, May 4th, 2005 |
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*~ Chibi ~*  ~ November 1991 - 2005 May ~
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sad.
| Friday, April 8th, 2005 |
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~.....A Beautiful Service..... ....For a Beautiful Man..... ....Began watching the coverage around 9pm HST.... ...And it was jsut amazing to see so many people pay their final respects to the Holy Father.... ...I was also suprised that the service in many respects, was so very similar to our chapel services at St. Andrew's Priory....(which is episcopalian).... And although not into the bible, I did enjoy attending chapel with my *sisters*... :) ....Watching the service brought back the nostalgia of those precious days.... ....Seeing all the different heads of state, and religious leaders, was just ...for lack of a better word....*AWESOME*....For a couple of hours, enemies, were decent towards each other....More than decent....Just another reminder of how incredible the life of this One Good Man..just really was....is....and will be remembered...forever.... I wish the Solidarity of those few hours could remain....And the world would, build bridges, as Pope John Paul II did..... ** I can't help it....I love this photo - I've seen short clips of the Pope holding this sweet Koala Bear, and it's so sweeet!! **  ....Lukasz, I'm sending you lots of love and hugs.... ...Your country is feeling such deep loss and pride.... ...May the latter remain with you all in the future... ....And bless you all..... |
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| Saturday, April 2nd, 2005 |
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Ioannes Paulus PP. II |
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| Friday, March 25th, 2005 |
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 ~......SAVAGE GARDEN........(wishing for a reunion)......Darren Hayes Quotes...*S*.~ ~ " I like dark hair and pale skin. Maybe I'm looking for myself. It's all about eyes and lips. You've got to have fat kissable lips. You see, I'm searching for myself! I've got fat lips and if you don't have similar lips then we don't have lip action..." - Darren Hayes  ~ "If you want me to be straight, gay, into monkeys, dating Kylie, whatever, I'm happy for people to project whatever onto me!" ~ "It's not that I'm perverted, its just I get horny over the weirdest things. A smell, in the middle of a song, eating an apple. You know... the usual.' - Darren Hayes .....Beautiful voice....beautiful eyes...beautiful lips....Beautiful Darren Hayes~~ ~ " "It's in the eyes" - Darren (when asked How he tells whether somebody is a kind person)... ~ Interviewer: What was your fave craze as a kid? Darren: "I was obsessed with ET - I even made one once and put it on my bike and tried to make it fly!!" ~ "I do DETEST early mornings and ESPECIALLY early morning performances. How do you even WALK at this hour of the morning? Hehehehe...." - Darren  ~ 'Some advice to share with your viewers...forgive your parents..they didn't intentionally mean to screw you up...they screwed you up because their parents screwed them up!...watch oprah..do yoga..drink carrot juice...hehe....don't worry about the size of your gut...do stuff for you..don't conform too much..do you enjoy chocolate?..i enjoy chocolate..eat it!..just don't eat too much of it.' "I have had weird deja-vu and premonitions, but I'm no psychic. I believe in God/Karma/the goodness of the universe and the power of the soul, so I don't rule anything out." (Darren on the supernatural and paranormal experiences) ~ ......After such an agonizing week....Darren's voice soothes my soul.....Pic Below from his album *SPIN*...(More of Darren's beautiful lyrics...) "I know it's not very masculine to say the moon is beautiful...but it is!" - Darren Hayes  "It's me! It's me! It's always me! " (Darren when asked who smelled so good at the MTV Live interview in New York)  ~ " It's kind of special thing...I mean I've met 2 or 3 people in my life through my dreams that was so real to me that when I wake up I can actually smell them. I can remember what they looked, tasted like and stuff like that and what I Want You is talking about is a wet dream...basically. (cracks up laughing) I mean listen to the lyrics Every time I need to see your face I just close my eyes." - Darren *Sexy* Hayes ....(Of course, next to yours Babeee...*teehee*....I love you....)... I Thank Goddess, Ihave been so blessed to be loved by a Man of Honor, Dignity, and Compassion....All good girls should be so lucky....  |
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refreshed.
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LiveJournal for *~ 80% Straight ~*.
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